Lonely Days
by SovietKitty
Summary: What happened to Kay for waking up on the tankery training ground of her school without remembering anything ? Why is everyone ignoring her ? Why does nobody talks to her ? Why does no one even seems to see or hear her ? Why is she suddenly... alone ?


**AUTHOR'S NOTE :**  
**It's an attempt I did 3 days ago between two chapters of a story that I'm re-writing and re-translating. I thought about Kay for this one. I think I'll write other one-shots after finishing improving my fanfic. I don't think I'll release the French version of this one...**  
**I wrote this for enjoying myself but also for training. I tried to make less grammar/spelling/syntax mistakes. I always try to improve my writing.**  
**Writing this was a bit hard due to the fact that we don't know much about Kay, only her personality and her tastes (favourite flower and tank), but it was fun though. :D **  
**Leave reviews, give me advices and eventually fav if you want~.**  
**UP : Ah, yes, I almost forgot, tell me if some characters are OOC !**

* * *

Kay opened her blue eyes and gasped. She coughed lightly because of the dust.

She was lying on her stomach on the ground, on a dusty road which was part of the tankery training ground of her school, and felt the stones on her body. She got up quickly and shook herself. What was she doing here ?  
She didn't remember anything. She didn't remember the eve. Her last memories went back to two days before.  
She didn't know why. Had she lost her memory, or perhaps she had shapeshifted ?  
"No, shapeshifting doesn't exist", she said to herself. "But what am I doing here, waking up on the ground, having lost my memory until three days ago?"  
She stayed about ten minutes standing there wondering. What had she done lately? Where were the others? She knew nothing. She indeed had a memory lapse.

She began to walk towards the school. It was daylight. She didn't even know what time it was.  
Many students were going in class. Upon entering the hall and watching the clock, Kay realized that she was very late. It was the afternoon and she was beginning in the morning. She couldn't remember either if she had to go in classroom or if it was time to go to the shed where the tanks were.  
There were conversations in the hallways. The blonde ran to a student and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, do you know where the people of tankery club are?"  
She didn't react. Kay did the same with another one that was next to her.

"Excuse me, do you know if the students who are from the tankery club took out the tanks?"  
No answer.  
Nobody answered her.  
Usually it was 'Hello Kay!' or 'Hi Kay!' sometimes with a pat on her shoulder or a hug.  
Now, nothing. Silence. No one seemed to see or even hear her. She didn't understand. She was loved because of her cheerfulness and her friendliness,  
though. But it was as if nobody knew her before.  
It was as if she never set foot on the school ship.

Kay walked in the corridors and entered her class in the middle of the lesson.  
"Sorry for being la-"

The teacher didn't seem to notice her. She sat down and tried to follow the class. The others either didn't pay attention to her. In addition, she had nothing for taking notes. She hadn't thought to get her things. And her tankery comrades weren't there.  
But what worried her the most was the fact that she was ignored. Even the teachers didn't notice her. She understood nothing.  
She had done nothing wrong, though. So why was she on the sidelines ?  
She felt terribly alone. Her friends were absent. Her other classmates ignored her. The teachers didn't even see her.

"I'm still surprised..." she whispered, saddened. "What did I do for being ignored like this? Is it because we lost the championship? No, it can't be... Here, we do tankery for fun, so... I don't understand."

She left the room a little later, still without being seen. She could walk at her ease in the corridors and classrooms without risking a reprimand, which she didn't do usually.  
Hearing tank noises, she rushed out and dashed to the shed.

The tanks were still lined up in the huge warehouse, perfectly arranged, a few of them weren't here, but there wasn't her M4.  
"But... I must be dreaming... That's not my day, today. Where's my Sherman? And why no one can see me or hear me? It's getting disturbing..."

She saw on the ground a few scrap pieces but didn't mind. She walked, looking at all the tanks that were there.  
She remembered the defeat against Ooarai. She might have lost, for her, the important thing was to have fun.  
Not far away, there was the place where the tanks were brought in for repairs if needed, or to improve them. Here, a M4 Sherman was there, in pieces, as if a part had exploded. Everything had to be redone inside. The turret was part destroyed. It was no longer usable. She went further, not wanting to linger over this tank shell.

Outside, several girls walked. They discussed while walking.  
Kay recognized tankery club members. Her team wasn't here. It was another one.  
She was still feeling invisible, so she decided to follow them, trying to find out why she was ignored and what was happening.

"I am terribly worried for her."

"I don't think the one who shot on her tank did this on purpose..."

"No, it was a terrible mistake..."

"I'm still shocked, we would never have thought that she would end up like this..."

"I hope she will survive, if she wakes..."

"Is her life in danger?"

"I think I'll stop tankery. I do not want to end up in such a way. Plus, her teammates are terribly injured too. I heard that the driver lost a leg."

"She really hadn't have any luck... I hope she will stay alive, it would be terrible to lose her... Not to mention that if she wakes up, she could never walk again..."

"I heard that the team which shot on her tank with explosive shells instead of basic shells had been excluded from the club."

The blonde girl wondered about the one they were talking of. She understood that someone in the tankery club had an accident and was actually in a coma. But she didn't know who it was. Maybe a classmate.

Lupines were growing near the shed. Kay knew this place. She often went there when she finished class or had a free period.  
She loved lupines. They were her favorite flowers. She enjoyed those purple petals, this scent, everything. She sat there, surrounded by flowers, and laid down , almost forgetting her invisibility to the others.

"I'm in fourth heaven", she murmured, savoring the joy of being in the lupines. "Err, I mean, in seventh heaven..."  
Immediately after those words, she closed her eyes and fell asleep in the flowers.

When Kay awoke again, she was in the same place, but it was dark. Nobody around. And she was always in the lupines. She stood up and shook her clothes, then ran towards the city.  
In the light of the street lamps and the first quarter moon, her platinum blond hair, her light complexion and her clothes made her looking like a ghost seen from afar.  
The commander of Saunders tankery club stopped running when she went into the streets. She didn't want to join her room. She felt an urge to wander. However, the curfew was probably close. She didn't know what time it was either.  
She sat down on a bench near the edge of the school ship. She was alone here. However, in the streets, people were still there, even at this hour. She looked at the moon that lit up her face and that was reflected in her blue eyes.  
The night was calm. She heard the sound of the sea, the ship that whipped the waters while advancing.

She had a strange dream when she was in the lupines. She remembered it clearly, unlike previous days.

She was in a tank, probably her M4 Sherman.  
With her team, she was training to prepare for the next year. Her crew was happy, too, she remembered saying "Alright ! Let's go ! We'll take a Coke after !", then the tank started up.  
Shots had sounded. She could feel one or more shell impacts in her vehicle's armour. And suddenly, an explosive shell penetrated and ended up in the cabin, exploding inside.  
And then, all happened very quickly.  
She felt being violently thrown out of the vehicle and hitting a tree, then came the moment of her awakening.

Why did Kay dream of having an accident?  
"It's just a dream, I won't dwell on it, after all I've done worse.." she thought, lying on the bench. "Besides, it's like earlier, I don't even know what time it is."

She peered into the black sky, dotted with stars. Light pollution was there, but it didn't stop her to stare at these little white dots forming constellations.  
She forgot everything while watching the stars. She even forgot her dream. It was like when she was in the lupines.

She stayed there for a long time, without feeling the ship advancing on the sea, watching this immense sky. Sometimes she wondered how the Universe was huge. She knew she was nothing to its scale, but she saw before her the deepest of all things that existed.  
Kay got up and walked back into the city. She dragged around her apartment, but nobody noticed her again. She looked at the clock in the street. It was ten o'clock in the night. She stayed for about an hour on the bench.  
She wandered in the streets. She thought back to her dream. She didn't remember being in an accident. If she had been, she would have been killed instantly or at least very badly injured.

She returned unwittingly near the school, then the shed. She chose to sleep there. She didn't want to spend the night in her room. She preferred to content herself with grass like last night. It was not so uncomfortable. She might have already camped, it was still more fun for her to sleep under the stars.  
Kay dreamed of something as weird as the last night.

She was lying and was seeing nothing. She couldn't open her eyes and see what was happening around her. She just heard voices as if they were ten meters away from her.  
She felt a sharp and diffuse pain in her back, her ribs and her right shoulder. She also had the feeling that these body parts were firmly held.  
She couldn't move. Nothing.  
And one phrase echoed in her head.  
_"We lost her."_

Kay awoke here, on the grass, right where she slept. The phrase she had heard in her dream came back to her without stopping.  
She wandered again as she did that night, not in the streets but in the tankery training ground. She returned to where she had a nap yesterday. She sat back in the lupines.  
Nothing could equal that feeling, not even the droning of her M4 Sherman._  
_She began to sing a song that went through her head. After all, nobody heard her. So she not began to sing, but to yell.

_"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies,  
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives,  
On holidaaaaay!"*****  
_  
She remembered listening to this song repeatedly a week before. She danced over it for hours and the only thing that stopped her was the time to go to school.  
Besides, she had to attend class. She walked towards the building. She wondered if she would still be ignored today.

She entered the school. She noticed Alisa nearby. She had a black armband wrapped around her left arm. She had reddish, teary eyes, as if she wept for hours.

"I hate her...so much now..." she muttered, sobbing. "...oh, I will never forgive her... she'll never be my friend again!"

Someone had died, apparently. Maybe it was the student whose Kay had heard the day before. The one who was in a coma. Maybe she had succumbed to her injuries.  
She walked to her friend. She didn't see Naomi. Where was the girl with short hair ?  
She took her in her arms.

"Hey, Alisa... It's me, Kay... What has happened?"

She didn't answer, to the blonde's displeasure.  
"Well, I'm still ignored, it starts well", she sighed, releasing her grip and following her friend to the class.

Upon entering, she noticed that some students had the same armband. Others wore nothing.  
And on the table, what she discovered left her speechless.  
There was a vase filled with flowers. Lupines. Her favorite flower, there, in a vase.  
The teacher began to speak.  
"Sit down, all. I have some bad news."

All sat down. The blonde gasped, taking a sudden anguish.  
"No..." she whispered with a trembling voice.

"Your classmate Kay, the one who had a tank accident three days ago, passed away in the night from her wounds."

"NO!" she cut off without being heard and beginning to tear up.

The others were shocked. Several went out. Others remained dumbfounded. Others were crying.

"No... I just can't be dead! That's impossible! That's unfair! Who will keep the fair-play in our Tankery team?" she said loudly, going out of the class and running towards the shed.

But Kay had to face up the reality. She was dead. She had an accident with the M4 Sherman. She had succumbed to her injuries. That tank shell was her's, it had exploded, she was thrown out of the cabin, had crashed into a tree, had received metal shards, and had been in a coma just before dying unconscious. That was why she was ignored. She was only a ghost. A ghost. Just a soul. It wasn't her anymore. It was just her soul.  
And not once she had thought about the question of whether she was dead or not.  
When she went into the shed, she rushed to her tank and sat on the turret. She closed her eyes and her tears flew.

And when she re-opened them, she wasn't crying anymore and she was in a beautiful land.  
There were hills and trees. Forests. Fields of lupines as far as her eyes could see. The moon was full. No clouds. Just this vastness, this infinity of stars on the night sky. The silence was relaxing, the only noise heard was the wind blowing against the trees and the flowers.  
"Is it... Heaven?"

A slight wind was blowing here, making her hair wave. She felt light, peaceful, like everything was gone.  
She ran into the flowers and fell, but she didn't feel pain.

She laid down in the lupines and stared into the deep sky, forever in peace.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE 2 :**  
*** I don't own those lyrics ! (I hope you'll recognize the song... ewe)**


End file.
